Back To The Beginning
by Lady Sashi
Summary: Go back to the beginning. You've read The Wheel Of The Year, you how it ends, this is how it began. I own nothing.


Rogue had almost gotten used to the hand life had dealt her.

The way she looked on as everyone around her shared little touches and caresses.

A boisterous hug, and handshake in all fairness of a game well played, and well lost.

These things were everyday occurrences and she had almost gotten used to the way her eyes would slide from them, never quite seeing that which they shared so freely.

That which she could never have.

Almost.

Still, she could not be held accountable for wanting the same for herself.

It had been several months since the Professor had suggested a new method for her with which to potentially control her powers.

It focused, not on the use of absorbed powers, but on attempting to contain the unruly power within that raged out to steal away the lives of those around her.

The method?

Meditation.

They'd gone through breathing exercises and guided meditations, controlled images and freeform thought.

It's not to say that they didn't work, she felt calmer, more in control; the problem was her body didn't seem to share that sense when it came to the relentless force that was her flesh prison.

All in all, Rogue was happy with the results.

True she had made no progress in controlling her power, but she had made progress in responses to those things she couldn't have.

Where months back she'd see a slight display of affection, she'd withdraw into herself and throw the pity-party of the century.

Now however, she saw it, she acknowledged it, she moved on.

And that made it much easier for her to deal with the hand she was dealt.

The sessions with the Professor had been going well, and Rogue had even been utilizing the exercises in her spare time and in the evening before bed and first thing in the morning.

She was getting bored of the same methods though and wondered if there was something more.

Rogue had been using some down-time to cruise the net for suggestions on different meditation techniques.

She'd found info on hypnotherapy which she thought sounded promising and filed that as something to bring up with during her next session.

Mostly she just found information on how different people used meditation to reach altered states and what these people had used these altered states to accomplish.

Native Americans went on a physical journey called a Vision Quest, and used ritual starvation and drugs to bring about visions of their Spirit Guides.

Shamans used trances to enter the Spirit World to gain information, heal the sick and do battle.

Several examples popped up during her search, but none seemed as appealing to her the Witches.

Witches were people who used magic, or Witchcraft; Wiccans were Witches who had taken to using Witchcraft in a religious way.

Anyone could be a Witch.

Only those who took it seriously and followed the rules laid down by Wiccan Rede could be Wiccan.

These people used meditation and altered states as a way to raise energy which they used to affect the world around them.

Magic.

Witchcraft.

Rogue had taken to researching more about Witchcraft and Wicca in general; she liked the principles.

The earth-based, God and Goddess centered religion and the positive attitude.

She'd been using several of the meditation and altered state techniques and found her progress steadily increasing.

Along with her interest.

Rouge had been doing some research online when she stumbled across an ad for a metaphysical store. The kind of place where they had books and things and all sorts of information on what she needed.

She quickly jotted down the address, powered down her computer station and put her name on the sign-up sheet for the next trip into town.

Everyone wanted to go into town, it was no fun being stuck at the school all the time, but only about twenty kids from the list ever got to go and they were always chaperoned.

The results of the list and the name of the chaperone would be announced next week, all Rogue could do was cross her fingers.

Well, maybe that wasn't _all _she could do...

Saturday morning and the list was posted after breakfast.

One thing could be said for having poison skin, everyone cut a path for Rogue at the crowded bulletin board.

She skimmed the list and noted her name as one of the lucky few, she also noticed the name of this month's chaperone.

Let the race begin!

Rogue swore it was some kind of private joke to amuse the teachers, and annoy the chaperones.

The list for the monthly town trip was posted on the first Saturday of every month after breakfast.

The trip commenced just after lunch the same day.

Which meant, names had to be checked, and since acceptance on the trip was based on a number of factor; clean bunks, good class attendance, assignments in on time and solid grades, that didn't leave much time for anything other than a mad scramble.

Rogue sighed, as she looked past the seething mass that raced and jostled for the stairs.

She shrugged, stripped off her gloves and bolted after them.

Nothing wrong with a little home-team advantage.

The bed was made, the homework done and the attendance record spotless. Rogue fumbled under her bed for her green opera gloves and tipped out her roll of cash.

She'd read that green was the color to symbolize money; every little bit helps.

Since, unlike everyone else, she didn't have parents who gave her allowance, Rogue had to earn her money the hard way.

Mostly smuggling in cigars for Logan in the fingers of her gloves or her mummy-wrap clothes.

At ten bucks a cigar she wasn't complaining.

Grabbing an extra pair of gloves, Rogue raced down the stairs just in time to see a cranky Wolverine get the good news.

"You've gotta be kidding me, I've got better things to do with my time than babysit a bunch of kids all day".

Normally Logan's a tough one to put anything past, but since Rogue had promised him an extra ten cigars 'tax free', he suddenly seemed blind when she slipped away from the group.

She quickly found the address she was looking for and stepped inside.

The first thing Rogue noticed was the smell.

Various types of incense had blended together to make a pleasant aroma that wafted up to greet her.

The tiny silver bells above the door seemed to chime in greeting.

No, chime was the wrong word, it was more like...

Laughter.

There were books and crystals, and trays of jewelry; there were things she recognized as ritual tools. Things used to help aid the focus of casting spells. Rows of fragrant incense in loose and stick form and jars of herbs.

Rogue wandered over to the books, there were all kinds. Books on different types of magic like candle magic or poppet magic, and different types of practices like Asatru - a norse religion- and Egyptian.

Amid this section was a smaller section of blank bound books. These were for constructing a Book Of Shadows; a Witch's cookbook of sorts.

Useful information and spells were written down in it, anything the person thought might be useful- yes person, men could be Witches too. Each Book was different.

Individual.

Unique.

Rogue found one she liked, a black leather bound book filled with blank parchment paper.

Simple and unadorned.

She quickly paid for it and rejoined the others for the return trip home.

When everyone had settled back into the dorms, Rogue unpacked her purchase, thought for a bit and then decided to go for a walk.

The school grounds were a good place get out and think without too many people to distract you. Rogue looked up wistfully at the sky and noticed Warren out flying on the warm, cloudless skies.

She liked to watch him sometimes, it was calming and somehow freeing.

Warren swept by overhead and a single white feather drifted down. Rogue caught it before it could hit the ground and called to Warren as he came in to land.

"Sorry, happens sometimes, you should see me when I malt. On second thought, don't, it's not pretty".

Rogue bit her lip as a sudden idea of inspiration burst into her brain.

"Can I keep this'?

"Sure, I've got plenty, could stuff a pillow with them, actually..."

Rogue smiled to herself and left Warren to contemplate how many feathers he'd need for full feather bed set. And wether anyone had bothered to keep his prior maltings.

Next Rogue tracked down Ororo and asked if she could have some juniper berries. Junipers berries were used for love, and it would be from the ink they made that she would lovingly craft her own grimiore.

After squeezing the berries to make an ink and finding a jar in which to store it, Rogue sat down to carve her quill.

Then decided to ask Logan to do it instead.

With that done she now had a little of a lot of her friends, and they would together, help her forge a way along a path that promised to be full of surprises.

Opening to the first page she scrawled in neat script the words:

Book Of Shadows.

Then as an afterthought added:

Diary Of A Witch.


End file.
